aquaman says no!

Posted by hajipaji

aquaman

Pacific Grove, California (PNN)– As shifting weather patterns threaten to push more oil towards the shores of Mississippi, Alabama and Florida, efforts to cease the irresponsibly shed oil have become increasingly more desperate. It would almost seem as though BP has exhausted every practical idea conjured within its creative think tank–each as unsuccessful as the next. After the failure of the Diamond Saw (only cutting midway through the pipe before getting stuck), they’ve begun to backtrack to previous  stratagem (giant sheers). Which, while producing a deeper incision in the pipeline, still provided equally useless results.

A recent press conference with BP’s CEO, Tony Hayward, shows the chief executive grievously crying out for the assistance of an unassuming California  resident, Arthur Curry…or as most of us would recognize him, Aquaman.

PNN reporter, Hanjay Pupta, had the opportunity to speak with Arthur; who seemed to have taken severe personal offense to Haywards cry for help, calling it “deplorable and insincere.” When asked by Pupta why he was so put off by Haywards plea, Curry (with arms raised) fiercely exclaimed “How was I not the first option? I’M F*CKING AQUAMAN!”

Curry, now a resident of Pacific Grove, California maintains a humble lifestyle free of crime fighting and high-tide heroics. He works  as the curator for the Monterey Bay Aquarium and is currently in the midst of a custody battle with his ex-wife, Princess Ariel (of Little Mermaid fame). Still a friend of the ocean, he lends his free time finding homes for wayward hermit crabs and teaching  father & son topography classes to clownfish.

Overwhelmed with obvious bitterness, Curry continued to offer his thoughts regarding contempt, his part in the spillage relief and BP’s CEO.

” This isnt the first time I’ve felt my contribution to heroism was neglected and undermined. I had to deal with the same sh*t in the Hall of Justice all the time.  I was always asked to organize the beach trips, but whenever there was a battle of reasonable significance, I would hear Martian Manhunter whisper to The Flash ‘Pssst….hey, lets not invite the dolphin whisperer!’ …what kinda highschool mean-girl sh*t is that!? I can breath in two places; water AND earth! Plus talk to starfish…that sh*t is useful got damnit!

Pupta reached over to offer the Aquatic all-star a hug, and continued to listen while Curry buried him in emotionally dense lamentation.

“Im just *sniffles* tired of being taken for granted.” He told Hanjay.

“For years and years, I’ve selflessly put my body in harms way for the benefit of the public, to receive not even so much as a thank  you….from anybody!?”

“I was once told, years ago, that in the thread of [DC] Comic-Hero movies, that Aquaman would be next for production. That news felt great (see image here)! Well,  the years pass, and  I haven’t heard anything about my movie yet…but now I find  out there’s a Jonah Hex movie! What? He’s a dead cowboy with half a face, big snorkin’ deal! I CAN BREATH IN TWO PLACES! “

Pupta explained to Arthur that Haywards opportunity may provide a dignified revival to the name Aquaman. To which he replied,

“Hayward and British Petrolium are absolute bullsh*t! If they were really concerned with fixing the problem, they would’ve sought me out first.  I couldve called up a couple sea anemone and had the problem solved ASAP! Instead, I became a last ditch effort after  tire shreds, golf balls and shaved camel butt! I flatly refuse! F*ck you Tony Hayward, and f*ck your oil spill!”

Curry told Pupta that while he still cares a great deal for his ocean dwelling comrade and dry-land supporters, he feels that staying away from this problem would be the best thing for his integrity. After a final handshake, Arthur grabbed his sting ray and dove back into the above-ground pool in his California home, adding “Hey, Tony, you want your problem solved? Why dont you go call Jonah Hex. Oh, and by the way…tell Batman to suck it!”

42 Responses to “aquaman says no!”

  1. Mitchel Helfritz Says:

    Awesome article post.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.

  2. Golf Says:

    Great post.

  3. veteriner Says:

    ehliyet…

    I saw this really good post today….

  4. 16 nisan ehliyet sınav sonuçları Says:

    16 nisan ehliyet sınav sonuçları…

    http://www.meb.gov.tr...

  5. veteriner Says:

    veteriner…

    I saw this really great post today….

  6. Intercom Systems Says:

    I’d have to check with you here. Which is not something I usually do! I enjoy reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!

  7. seborrhea Says:

    I welcome all comments, but i am possessing problems undering anything you could be seeking to say

  8. cheap web host reseller Says:

    Hi, I can’t determine tips on how to add your web-site in my RSS feed reader. Can you tell me what I’m doing wrong, please.

  9. Hoyt Salomone Says:

    Interesting Article. Hoping that you will continue posting an article having a useful information. Thanks a lot!

  10. nike pas cher Says:

    Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?

  11. slutty anna gets her tight ass fucked Says:

    Nubian nympho passing an check out prove to neighborhood

  12. Sean Bressette Says:

    I’d have to give blessing with you one this subject. Which is not something I usually do! I really like reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!

  13. holiday in cuba Says:

    Thanks a lot for being the coach on this subject. We enjoyed the article a lot and most of all cherished how you handled the issues I regarded as being controversial. You happen to be always incredibly kind towards readers like me and assist me in my life. Thank you. holiday in cuba

  14. MP3million review Says:

    I can see that you are an expert in this area. I am launching a website soon, and your information will be very useful for me.. Thanks for all your help and wishing you all the success in your business.

  15. water pressure Says:

    This is what I have been looking in quite a few internet websites and I last but not least uncovered it here. Astounding post. I am so impressed. Could in no way believe of these a matter is possible with it…I consider you have a wonderful information in particular when dealings with such topics.

  16. P90x sale Says:

    Hallo … ich wei? nicht, ob Sie schon Erzeugung haben Ver?nderungen, aber Ihre Webseiten werden nicht richtig angezeigt für mich. Die Seiten aus dem Text in jedes mehreren Arbeitsgruppen. Ich tat es nicht den anderen Tag. Ich wei? nicht, ob es eine Sache ist auf meinem PC oder wenn Sie eine Ver?nderung geschaffen … Ich dachte, m?chten Sie vielleicht an ihm erscheinen. Vielen Dank!

  17. discount P90x Says:

    You made some valid points in this post. I’ve done a lot of searching on the topic and think most people will agree with your article. Thanks, Diabetes Testing

  18. abercrombie fitch Says:

    Wow, awesome blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is magnificent, as well as the content!

  19. dog food coupons Says:

    this has all while using usefull data necessary.

  20. denver family lawyer Says:

    Links for the day!…

    Good day everybody. I Just Discovered this good site i would like to share it with you guys….

  21. ipolos Says:

    ========http://www.ipolos.com =========
    Dear customers, thank you for your support of our company.
    Here, there’s good news to tell you: The company recently
    launched a number of new fashion polo items! ! Fashionable
    and welcome everyone to come buy. If necessary, please
    input: http://www.ipolos.com need your support and trust!!!
    need your support and trust!!!

  22. Fire Rated Doors Says:

    What¡¦s Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve found It absolutely helpful and it has helped me out loads. I’m hoping to give a contribution & assist other users like its helped me. Good job.

  23. http://champion-motors.yolasite.com/ Says:

    I simply wished to thank you so much again. I am not sure the things I would have followed without the type of aspects revealed by you relating to this problem. Entirely was a very frustrating case in my view, but taking note of the expert avenue you treated the issue forced me to leap with happiness. I am just happier for this service and as well , sincerely hope you really know what a great job you are always doing training people today by way of your website. More than likely you have never met all of us.

  24. tommy hilfiger 財布 一覧 Says:

    mulberry online shop

  25. Kristy Ziemski Says:

    Pretty good day, this is the actually superb web-site, I’ve plummeting in adore studying many of the posts and threads contained after the location, sustain the awesome function as well as hope to learn a lot more exciting posts from the time to come.

  26. Marita Says:

    Since the admin of this web site is working, no doubt very quickly it will
    be renowned, due to its quality contents.

  27. telecharger pdf creator Says:

    I like the helpful info you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently.
    I am quite sure I’ll learn a lot of new stuff right here!
    Good luck for the next!

  28. download the quiet ones Says:

    When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I
    get four e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service?
    Thank you!

  29. fx-trend Says:

    По моему мнению Вы не правы. Я уверен.
    Пишите мне в PM.

  30. Judson Says:

    My Partner And I recently installed a steam shower unit, best item i’ve decided to buy in a long while, children and
    relatives think it’s great, find it difficult
    to see myself moving back to conventional showers ever again

  31. forex scam Says:

    Great items from you, man. I’ve keep in mind your stuff previous to and you’re simply
    extremely great. I actually like what you’ve obtained
    right here, really like what you’re stating and the best way by which you
    say it. You’re making it enjoyable and you still care for to stay it smart.
    I cant wait to read far more from you. That is actually
    a wonderful website.

  32. reebok adjustable weight Set Says:

    I hardly drop comments, but after looking at through a few of the comments here The P is
    for Pajamas. aquaman says no!. I actually do have 2 questions for you if it’s
    allright. Is it only me or does it give the impression like a few of the comments look like they are
    left by brain dead individuals? :-P And, if you are
    posting on additional sites, I’d like to keep up with you.

    Would you make a list of the complete urls of your public sites like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

  33. social anxiety disorder dsm 5 Says:

    Great blog here! Additionally your web site so
    much up fast! What host are yoou the use of? Can I am getting your
    affiliate hyperlink on your host? I wish my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  34. ugg madrid baratas Says:

    Hi, I would like to subscribe for this website to obtain latest updates, therefore where can i do it please assist.|

  35. Ropa Interior Masculina Sexi Says:

    Incredible points. Sound arguments. Keep up the amazing spirit.|

  36. Tienda De Ropa Interior Masculina Says:

    I enjoy reading through a post that can make men and women think. Also, thanks for allowing for me to comment!|

  37. Calvin Klein Imitacion Calzoncillos Says:

    If you are going for finest contents like me, simply visit this site daily because it provides quality contents, thanks|

  38. Corine Says:

    Hello there, You’ve done a fantastic job. I will definitely
    digg it and personally suggest to my friends. I’m sure they’ll be benefited from this site.

  39. Mittie Says:

    I am actually delighted to read this website posts which
    contains tons of helpful data, thanks for providing such information.

  40. planeteers.in Says:

    Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer for your site.
    You have some really great articles and I think I would be a good asset.
    If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d love to write some articles for your blog in exchange
    for a link back to mine. Please send me an e-mail if interested.
    Kudos!

  41. Kendra Says:

    I nur konnte nicht weggeehen Ihre Website vor darauf hindeutet, dass ich wirklich tatsächlich
    genoxsen diee übliche info eine Person bieten Zu Gäste?
    Ist werde werden zurück konhtinuierlich , um Kasse Neue Beiträge

  42. https://psychictrashkryptonite.tumblr.com Says:

    Become fast friends with your sewing machine!

Leave a Reply