gimme my swag back!

Posted by hajipaji

Okay hiphop, I firmly believe its high time you get a grip! You’ve played me out for way too long now, and the shet stops here. Yeah, right here. Stop it! When you denied my first European tour, I understood. That whole iniquitous ordeal with unnamed label, I let it slide….even when I lost that emcee competition that everybody in the audience knew I won…sure,I threw a fit, maybe even fought a little bit….but Im over it! And now this? This, hip hop? You just gon do this to me!!?!?!

My entire life I suffered insurmountable ridicule for my personal choices of whom I chose to hang with and activities in which I’ve engaged. And now this cornball nigga just gon throw a couple of Brian’s and Becky’s in a video, horribly conjure a song about his discrepantly colored comrades and all of a sudden its okay! Give me a freakin break! First of all, them niggas at the beginning of the video would not let him off the hook so easy. How do I know? Because I used to get the BUSINESS from my boys when I didnt go to a black college and made my first white friend. I used to skate as a kid, but when I moved to a new highschool I thought I had to quit cause my posse was buggin on me like, “thats some white boy sh*t!” When Pure Playaz and Fubu was the hype gear, and I was rockin Polo Bears, my niggas was like “thats some white boy sh*t.” I used to go see bands play and thump Portishead in my ride…“thats some white boy sh*t.” But it wasn’t me trying to be anything other than a proud African American…it was me being me, son! Get a grip, yo! Black boy Swag/ White boy tags, I been on that. Young Dro and LA got a song called “Actin White” and thats acceptable? Nigga please!

Y’all aint lived that life…yall fakin the funk. Yall dont be in the sorority parties like me! Get off my P-ness! I BEEN did what yall just starting to do. Ive included pictures of me hanging out with white people as proof

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NEED MORE PROOF???? I even took a minute to interview some of my white friends. Lets see what they have to say….

Name- Pat B (partner in crime,white people interpreter,neighbor,promoter,road dog.) aka Irish Pat aka Project Piddat aka “Mick” of Mick and Marley aka “He Cool” aka That Guy aka Neighborhoodlum

Occupation: Prep cook, student, entrepreneur

How long we been friends? 7-8 years

What Kind of White person are you? i listen to and appreciate hip hop and rap. but dont count myself cool enough to drop the n-bomb and cornrow my hair. i dont wear flipflops. hate the beach. hippies are stupid. that kind of white guy.

Things you enjoy? sneakers, new gear, capitalism, partying, booze, travel, history. typical honky pursuits.

Tell ‘em bout that one time we hung out: I have a large, explicit and debaucherized collection of haji p stories written down in ye olde book of drunkery. My favorite and oft most retold revolves around a favorite shall we say “asian” acquaintance of ours, stolen lawn furniture, deer in the road, P’s honda, and an unsuspecting roommate. (i know his government name, true sign of a friend. cant be revealed under penalty of death.)


Name: D Marks

Look, I work in Administration, that’s all you need to know.

How did we meet? Well let me take this whole thing back in three stages. Stage one, D Marks knew of Haji P while attending UNCW because said gentleman walked around campus with a backpack blaring hip-hop. Never said anything to him, but always walked behind him because I liked the music coming out of his backpack. Stage two, D Marks got to know Haji P because said gentleman worked with D Marks in Administration. We always talked about when we were going to be friends. Stage three, we finally became friends but unfortunately it was after Haji P decided to move out of Wilmington.

Type of White Person: My mom’s Catholic and my father’s Jewish, yet people automatically assume that I am Jewish, I wear Polo Ralph Lauren clothes, typically wear khakis with a fish belt, either wearing Clark’s Wallabee’s or Sperry Deck shoes, sunglasses around my neck held by some Croakies, yes, I am a part of one of the whitest fraternities Sigma Nu, I enjoy a nice Will Ferrell movie from time to time with a side of Will Smith as well, listen to Dave Matthews Band (but more importantly listen to the greatest man alive (or dead depending on what type of hater you are) – Tupac), drive a Mazda 3, and also, I enjoy watching and playing soccer…I think that should give you a good idea, however, I’m not as white as the name Greyson, hahahahahahhaaha.

Things you Enjoy:
Well I hit on a few of these things in the previous response but to add to it…I love a good suit and a nice pair of slacks, I have an iPhone which I enjoy, I cannot get enough PTs (it’s a Wilmington burger joint-thing), I love using words like “furthermore,” “copesthetic,” “ad nauseum,” “said,” (when referring to someone just mentioned), love the show Office, Heroes, Mad Men, and Top Chef, I have an even whiter girlfriend who, although is not in a sorority, could possibly be in one, enjoy eating sushi and reading…


Name : Nicole “Air Max” Maxwell

Occupation: Advertising & Marketing Account Exec./ Bad assss Bartender

How do I know you: We met at the radio station solely based upon your shoes, I then introduced myself and demanded we be best friends….our relationship after that point consisted of; a lot of talk of Nikes, Rap, Jack Daniels, The Color Purple, Coming to America, and we experienced the movie Superbad for the first time together. haa….we continue to only speak of those various topics throughout the remainder of our relationship.

What Kind of White person are you? I am an all around awesome white person of course. I’m just your average white chic bumpin’ Wu Tang,Tribe, and Paramore in a jeep…

Things you enjoy? The beach, live shows, all activities that can be done in the ocean, performing, Nikes, hoodies, & sweatpants, chocolate milk usually paired with an extra cheesy grilled cheese sandwich, traveling everywhere, painting, music, and being in two places at once.


Name: Keith Howard

Occupation: The Fold Clothing Owner/CEO

I met Haji P about 8 years ago. We met in a class we both had at UNCW and I was giving a presentation on hip hop and later he gave me a bad critique on my presentation because I left out cannibal ox. We later became close as promotion assistants at Cumulus Broadcasting with a focus at Coast 97.3.

What kind of white person are you? I am “on some super classic americana good ol’ boy x urban ambassdor vituoso ish.”

What type of stuff do you like? I enjoy banjos, pop art, american manufactured textiles, conscious rap, ignorant rap/drug dealer rap, architecture, pea coats, nike air max, penny/driving loafers, red wing boots, brooks brothers, sear sucker, porche, mont blanc pens, moleskin paper, cuisinart, apple, farming, the history channel

Tell ‘em bout that one time we hung out: I Watched Haji bring out the monster at DJ Battles birthday party. *referring to the first time I got drunk.


Name: Francie

Occupation: TV Media Account Executive
Describe our relationship: i would say we have a very love hate relationship and somewhere along the way we have become pretty good friend
Things you enjoy: dancing, shopping, going to the movies, painting, being creative, traveling, and trying new things
Tell ‘em bout that one time: you and gregg almost killing one another, you almost busted a beer bottle over a guys head on new years at firebelly, when i got in a fight with kate b at velvet, when we figured out our roommates (Kel and Chris) were both dating the same girl…….basically any story involving a crazy person

Take that, fake cracka-rappers!


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