have you seen her?

Posted by hajipaji

rashida jones

Last night I saw love, and within the breath of an exhausted slave, she disappeared….


Last night I was at the crib on some “I’m hella bored” ish. Highly unacceptable, right?  Yeah, I thought so too.  So, to remedy my situation, I hopped in the whip (read: bike) and mashed out to local  Santa Cruz nightery, Cypress Lounge. Where, every Thursday, they host a reggae night.

Not something Im typically into, but eh… I had a few homies there, so if anything, it would vastly improve the quality of my otherwise cheerless night.

Why dont you like reggae night, its awesome, Haji p!?

Well, from my experience, any venue within a college town that hosts a reggae night draws an unfavorable crowd. By that, I mean a bunch of unbathed white people, dressed like Ini Kamoze, dancing around like coked out earthworms…with one or two actual rastafarians sprinkled amongst the crowd, riddled with bewilderment.

Anyway, amidst what couldve  been a Patra lookalike contest for caucasian women…I managed to find my *ahem* “Queeeeeen tooo beeeeeee!”

It was a romance that began at the bar. Softly we touched. Then I turned to her and we exchanged words, in a whisper so gentle, the winds of a Chinese playground would be envious…Actually, the bar was just hella packed and I  stepped on her foot and said, “my bad.” Either way, the sh*t was poetic, son.

Homegirl was unnecessarily fine. She looked just like motherfreakin Rashida Jones. Like, if her and Rashida was in the same room, youd be like “Dang, I cant tell who’s who because you both look so much alike just like Haji P said. Craaazy!” Not even Wyatt and Chet couldve weird scienced that degree beautifulness. Ima be real with you,  If I lactated from my sweater-puppets, I’d want to step my game up tremendously just because that girl existed.  (Not saying youre not beautiful, random girl thats reading this. Youre just not her .)

Tragedy would later follow after receiving my drink however. She dipped! Cold vanished on me, son! But she’s gotta stay in Santa Cruz, and when I find her, we’re getting married. No excuses.

If found, please return her to me at once.

28 Responses to “have you seen her?”

  1. Haley Says:

    OOOOOhWeeeee! A Rashida Jones look-a-like? Mm! I got a not so secret crush on her too. Best of luck to you, buddy.

  2. dasea Says:

    wait .. lets get back to the caucasian patra’s .. were they butterflying .. and if so, post the video ..

  3. hajipaji Says:

    i dont know if i could really call it the butterfly…it kinda looked more like the mothra.

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