I’d be lying if I told you as a child, Reading Rainbow was my favorite television program…because it wasnt. Reading Rainbow was for the fat kid in dodgeball! Frankly, I wasnt concerned with anything that didn’t involve a dog playing piano, a bear that told bad jokes , or a blonde, pig-tailed little girl who I suspected to be racist cause she never gave Grover any play! Everything I did, watched, said, or wanted to be revolved around muppets and muppet-like activity. Reading Rainbow only managed to pull my attention because it was the show before Sesame Street…and I didnt want to miss Super Grovers newest exploits!
It wasnt until I reached the sixth grade this show became relevant…
Some people might look at this and think, “Dang, Gary. You fell off, son.”
I see this and say, “Way to go champ! You claimed the hearts of wealthy white people and orphaned ghetto youth alike as Arnold Jackson. Now, as a dignified African American man-boy , you’ve managed to do the same as the spokesmidget for Canada’s New York fries. There’s nothing you should be ashamed of. If anybody ever tries to tell you diff’rent, you just stick your chest out, hike up your teeny lil’ britches and ask, ‘What was the last thing Webster did?‘”
Does anybody else remember this cartoon? If you said no, chances are: A.) you probably shared your first Smirnoff Ice with your BFF today, or B.) you’re prejudiced against pants-less woodland creatures. Either way, you should be ashamed of yourself. In short, Shirt Tales was a 22 minute animated program, in which 5 lion-hearted animals (of which, none were lions) thwarted paltry acts of crime and knavery under the daytime guise of the wise-crackingly cute residents of Oak Tree Park. The illy thing about these 5 would-be zoo exhibitswas their t-shirt game. Pioneers of cartoon couture, I’d say. Anyhow, in their mild-mannered stages, their t-shirts read only the characters name. But, when engaged in moments of heroism, the shirt brightly flashed proclamations of action. (Ex: when confronting a bank robber, Tyg’s shirt might read, “I’m ’bout to whoop dat a**!”).
In any case, I say that to say this…I need some new motherfreakin t-shirts!!! Read more…
Imagine a nation of people. A freaky deaky people with eight hands. And on each of those hands, twelve fingers, not including the traditional five that come standard on every human palm…and instead of toes, five fingers would meet the ends of an individual foot. You take that number of phalanges, multiply it by two…and you still couldnt count on all of those hands how many times I get called Lil Wayne in a three hour period. Thats an actual mathematical fact. All of the proper research has been conducted.
Albeit scatterbrained and lethargically delivered…I hope the message in this video finds a special place in your heart.
This is the reason why Cupid shot the arrow in the digital butts of Youtube & Camera Phone. Not so we could hear your boring rants about your sucky political opinion, or watch some scrawny little black kid with dredds walk around his city and bore us with inane jibba jabba! The two fell in love so we could watch Kevin unload on these niggas! “Unload on these niggas, Kevin!” The illest part, is directly after I watched it, I copped the iGun app and started rolling around the floor, bucking shots at the living room furniture! Thanks, Kevin.
Yup, thats me. The Fresh Prints of the Bay. Performing @ Red Devil Lounge in San Francisco with fellow rap crew, Rec League. From what I could tell, the crowd seemed to be enjoying it immensely. And I’m pretty sure they were so bedazzled by my impromptu mumbling, they didnt even realize I actually forgot a line in the first verse. Tadaow!
Fun Fact: I actually wrote this on the plane, whilst seated betwixt a portly pair of women, during my move to California. You may be asking yourself, ” Haji P., wasnt that well over a year ago?” Well, Im glad you asked that question. The answer is as simple as this…yes. Unfortunately thats how rap works sometimes. It can be a real boner killer, I know. Ive been told that within recent times, another rapper may have also released a song similar. I make no claims to having any knowledge of that. Though Im sure it was amazing. Anyhow, this track will be featured on the upcoming Rec League compilation, “Season 2″
Hear it here first! But, only if you promise to cop Season 2. You promise? Okay. Cool!
I never did go to sleep watching cartoons. Instead, Homeboy Mike hit me up about a cookout (and other continued shenanigans) at his beach spot. With that said, allow the trumpets to blow for the oncoming of misadventure…
Dear Santa Cruz, thanks for the good times. But, as with all good things, this too must come to an end…and its time to say goodbye. Well, not for me anyway. I lay my freshly copped New Era cap in this culmination of dirty feet, organic foods, and panhandling fire jugglers. Really its just Dundee thats gotta go. Back to his quaint Carolinian surroundings. Where the white folks wear their X, and the black folks wear theirs. Join us as we commemorate the special moments and bid farewell to the town as only Brown Co could .
